Life... Marriage... Job... Love...

2010 is almost here.. less than 10 days..
It's been a while since my last post.. So many things that I wrote in my head, and still wont be able to find perfect time for me to transfer it here..
Lots of things happened of course, cuz that's how life supposed to be..
Laughter and cry, smile and sulk, happy and sad, it's the essence of life, that nobody can deny it..
So many things happened, yet it was another experienced for me in maneuvering my pity life..
Awal Muharram was last week.. and there goes another new year in the islamic calendar..
Right now, I am sitting in a cubicle, in branch campus of this college i am still working with.. *sigh*

*Life*
My life for the past days was not very hectic.. Everything was ok.. Sometimes happy, sometimes just ok.. and maybe, when the times comes, it was pathetic... hmmm... *sigh*
But nothing is going to be okay just like that.. Sometimes, putting an effort despite what you never do before can give you a little bit of challenge.. I am trying so hard to beat the challenge, but sometimes I fail.. damn.. Is it me?? yeah, most probably..
On the other hand, my miserable life has calm down in such a way that i was trying to not to get mad easily.,. i can feel that it reduce my misery, but still, sometimes, I do fail badly.. hmmm... *sigh*
If i blame on this physiology of mine, is it the same as blaming the God??? If it is, then I do not dare to blame it..
I came across that this anger feelings comes from the devil.. hmmm... Dear God, please keep the devils far far away from me... :(
Because this anger will burn me inside out, and of course, it'll 'eat up' other people..
Most of the times, I have already imagined that I will calm down., I'll be okay, no heart feelings, try to talk this and that, but somehow, during encountering session - I failed - again - *sigh*
Not Good... :-(

*Marriage*
Congratulations to Noyan, for her wedding on last November.. I was there... huhu..
My deepest and heartiest appreciation to Noyan for honouring me to be her maid of honour..
It was such a great experience, and it was also my first time being a maid of honour to somebody... huhu...
The trip was great, and of course, I went there with him.. :)
We spent most of the daylight time at Batu Pahat, and then almost dawn, we went back home.. He has futsal that night.. No time to go wandering around JB.. Itsok... huhu..
Nice... :)

*Job*
I am still working here as Jr. Lecturer / CI in this institution... My official resignation will be on 19th January... I was busy with being the examiner for the students' OSCE - different groups.. and each group will have students who - for sure- giving you big headache, as well as big pain the ass.. To think of it I am really sad to see that these ppl are the one who are going to be the future nurses.. Could be the one who will nurse me or my family members, could be my colleague.. OMG>.. I am TERRIFIED~ and maybe HORRIFIED at the same times..
It's not that I am very mean, and I like to fail them, but with all the easy procedures - some of them still could not do it... Even the basic one like taking temperature and measuring blood pressure.. GOD.. please help them... huhu..
Today, I started to go in classes - replacing lecturers who could not make it to their classes...
I love teaching.. But yeah, it's going to be the students whom you will seek back and wait for the outcome..
Hmmm... itsok... Even though I am replacing, I'll teach them as best as I could..
I guess the best experience for me was when 1 of my students sent me a msg telling me that she was lucky to have me as her lecturer because I was a good lecturer (simply translated.. huhu..)
Thank you God for giving me the ability to teach someone... hehhee...
But somehow, I will not going to teach that long.. The SPA result was out, and I succeed the interview. I am accepted to the Ministry of Health for the post of Staff Nurse U41~~
Huhu... But I haven't recieve any official letter from the Ministry yet.. But the feeling of nervousness is still here, because I have no idea where I will be sent to..
I hope that it will not be not-so-likable places...
Hoping... :)

*Love*
Sometimes Laugh,
Sometimes Cry,
Sometimes Happy,
Sometimes Not So-so,
Always love,
Always smile - even not showing it,
Always missing u...
Nourishing... XO

The Adrenaline's pumping faster everyday...

office today was a bit quiet..
syg is not around..
other friends already cuti..
adoi...

so the whole week i was sitting in the office, and i've finished the whole episode of america's next top model for cycle 13.. hoho..

today is thursday and there are like 3 days left to the SPA's interview result.. lup dup lup dup.. hoho... wonder whether i'll get it or not.. and the next question if i manage to get the position is where will i be posted to??? errr... huhu... life's getting harder now.. but somehow, i know i'll make it through...

tomorrow will be Hari Raya Haji... and gaji have not been in my bank yet.. adoi.. it's been over a month since the last salary... i wonder how did my mom manage to tahan this situation.. she even have 4 children who always asked her for money... heee.... maybe the fact that i have not settle down makes it harder for me to manage this situation... time'll pass and i'm sure it will not be that bad.. hoho!!~~

praying for the best...

is it me?

if only i could tell the whole world how guilty i am,
i would..

sedar tak sedar, it's November.. it's almost the end of the year already...
a lot of things happens but I am certain that i would not want the past to be repeated just to make things right...

it's the 2nd month i am working in this company.. every single day i'm here, there will be lot more flaws appear... it's hard to tell, but yeah, now i realize why i heard that this is not a good company... great..

just as a reminder to myself, this month could change my whole life.. haha.. it seems like time passes by so fast that sometimes when we realize it, it is almost the end of it.. hoho...

there were not so many things happened when i was not posting anything.. i'm still at selayang hospital, and working PM shift for the whole week.. PM shift was damn boring.. ayo... i dont know what to do, how to do... hmmm... layan.. nasib baik next week would be AM shift, but then the final week would be another PM shift.. damn... adoi..

lalala...

i dont know what topic should i put for this post. haha..

the past 2 days, i followed syg to his futsal game.. fuh.. balik jek flat.. hahaha... mcm aku pulak yg men kan.. hoho... it has been a while since i used to stay up late at night.. :)

today the plan is to go out, to find something important for someone important.. time check is 1202hrs, and i bet syg is still sleeping.. so i think i just wait for his call.. hahaha... confirm lepas zohor...

tonight will be the clash of the titans ( i supposed) between 2 reds - red devils and the reds.. hehehe... and i can bet u that that will be the top priority of the day for my syg, and of course me la... hahaha...

:)

Waiting for Another day...

I am in the office right now, not knowing what to do.. i've done all my job already.. waiting to be reviewed.. but if there is no one calling me, then i'll be sitting here staring at my baby lappie.. huhu..

well, it's been a week after my interview with SPA.. thank god that morning, it was a very fine day.. i left my apartment at 6.30 to putrajaya.. the road is clear and i took my time driving slowly to putrajaya.. huhu... i arrived at around 7.30 and i went straight to the place of interview.

at putrajaya, there were only around 6 or 7 of us waiting for being interviewed.. huhu... sempat lagi i bought a bottle of water and sandwiches for breakfast.. huhu... quite hungry.. plus, if i think i am nervous, i have the habit of eating something, just to set the butterfly in my stomach free. hoho.. i may look calm on the outside, but i'm as the ocean inside.. hahaha.... whatever right??

i will be called up the 4th.. 3 of us were fresh grad, the others have already worked.. so the competition is there already.. erkkk....

i entered the room as calm as possible, and there were 2 interviewer, 1 from the SPA ( i think) and the other 1 is surely from KKM.. both of them were very welcoming and very friendly.. they even started to talk to me before i can even shut the door completely..

first half of the interview was just a casual chat, asking me what is the interesting thing in my hometown, (that person been there before, surela kot..) and what am I doing here, and so on.. his formal question was, what is my opinion if malaysia is to be a hub for health tourism.. something like that.. thank god, i can answer it nicely.. hahaha..

next was questions from this kkm.. she asked me about IM injection, whether i have done it before or not, (of course i said yes) and she asked me how many times i've done it, and i answered many times that i forgot to count it (especially when i just gave lots of IM in my institution's clinic for the students.. hahaha..) bonus question was what are the examples of IM injections, (quite nervous but thank God, i can think fast!!!!~~~) Hep B (hahaha.. because this was the injection i gave to the students 2 3 days before my interview.. hahaha), and pethidine.. fuhh.. lepas... then she said, she had an interview with another fresh grad before and she said that the interviewee told her that she only did IM on an orange.. oopsss... matikudasai..

the next question was about KCL.. nasib i can think fast as well.. i almost failed that part, but i think my confident helped a lot.. i prefer to look and act confident because it can help me to stay calm and think FAST! huhu....

another question was what is the function of a nurse... simple answer - Do Good, Avoid Harm - thanks to Prof Nik - the founder of my nursing college for teaching us and instilling that principle!!~~ huhu.. it helped a lot.. because it is simple, and yet meaningful and explains everything.. (glad the interviewer likes it)

i did asked them, what am i going to be if i get this post because there was no description for fresh graduate regarding this post.. i think i get their meaning, when they asked me, IF i get this U41 post, would i mind if i have to work just like other staff nurses, doing bed, sponging patient, doing other basic nursing care and etc..

the most 'painful' question for me was if i am working right now.. i told myself from the very beginning, to not to cheat or lie for any interview... so yes, i told them the truth about my current work.. and i said i am sorry for working with other institution when i am not supposed to (cuz i am jpa scholars).. huhu... nasib baik they can take it.. they said they understood when i told them that i am trying to gain experience and to preserve my skills when i am with the students in the hospital.. yeay!~ huhu... the mr. asked me how long will it take for me to send my notice of termination, and i told them it was 3 months.. then they asked me whether i am confident or not while CI-ing the students and etc about the job..

oh, they also asked me about my experience as a nurse and the places where i get my experience, of course la jawapannye non.. except when i was a student.. hehehe...

before we ended up our session, they remind me to send in my resignation letter straight away... i supposed it was a good news, no?? but yeah, at the same time, i feel VERYYYYYY nervous to wait for this 30/11/2009 for the result.. hmmm... i just hope that i would get the place that i wanted to.. sob sob sob...

tick tock tick tock --

Hari Ini...

hari ini hari yang agak menyesakkan kepala.. di posting aku malas nak crita la.. because, whatever happen to the students' incompetency are of course not their problem, but the institution's fault for not thinking of the quality of nurses that they would like to produce.. lantak ko ler.. but i feel very sad when it comes to my mind that these students are going to be future nurses... nasib la these ppl are not my juniors in my college, cuz if they are, mmg sah2 la kena maki aku sbb bengong yang tersangat la amat.. haish..

then, lg satu yang menyesakkan kepala is about our salary.. mula2 during our induction day, they said it's going to be before deepavali, then on the 10th, then up lagi on the 15th, and until now, the latest that i heard was from noyan telling that senior staff told her they didnt get any salary on the 1st month.. wadepak??!!! (ikot syg.. hoho!~~) 17th is deepavali, and 16th is tomorrow.. so, let's wait what happen tomorrow..

yesterday, i was so worried that my birth cert mummy posted wasn't there yet.. i used the department;s address because i think that was the safest place (indeed it is.. hoho..) and i asked sue to check for it everyday.. hahaha.. kesian sue.. after 2 days not in the dept, sue went to the telekar and for the first time in her life, she gained a new experience of being a post girl.. hahaha... thanks so much sue!!~~ hehehe... nnt2 la belanja makan.. ngeh3...

that birth cert is actually for my spa interview tomorrow (16th october 2009). which means, i am on holiday!!~~ yeay!!~~ i dont have to go to the hospital early morning.. but i have to go to putrajaya.. haha.. anyway, i think i prefer to go to putrajaya rather than driving along the road to selayang hospital.. haish...

i've settled the documents.. only 1 documents i've misplaced it somewhere.. adoi.. tula.. buang2 lagi.. then, now when really in need, i couldn;t find it anywhere.. kesian syg kena cari.. haish... it was my jpa scholarship letter.. hadoi.. but i hope the letter that jpa send to me congratulating me would be accepted.. if not what to do.. nasibla,... layaann..

this interview is for the post of u41 nurse.. even though i know the chance is very rare, but just go.. this is my chance to confront with the ppl inside and asked about this post especially for the fresh graduate.. and i am waiting anxiously (hahaha) for their answer.. i am certainly aware that i have to be with those who already have experience since it stated that this post is mainly managerial stuff.. haiya..

anyway.. whatever it is, i need to send the resignation letter a.s.a.p.. cannot stand d.. taik...

Suddenly I realize that I Smile The Most.........

.... when I'm with u... huhu...

takkan nak bagi tajuk panjang2 kan... hehehe...

well, this is the first week of my life being a CI at Selayang Hospital.. hahahaha... sometimes i feel like i'm a cartoon.. let's just not talk about the students, cuz seriously, i have no interest of telling their stories in MY notes of life.. i am more interested to talk about myself.. hahaha...

first day, it was a little bit awkward... hehe.. i came as early as possible.. 7 something.. huhu.. and yesterday, i woke up late.. adoi... i was dreaming of eating kek batik given by acap (my junior, who is also my college's famous cameraman known as pak nan.. hehe).. apedaaa.. anyway, thanks acap... hahaha.. melompat aku g mandi... i manage to arrive kepong before 650, but then, damn, i sesat la pulak... but then, jalan punya jalan, thank God, there was selayang hospital signboard there.. huhu...

today, i try to be calm, and try the same road, but not sesat2 onela, and yeah!!~~ i succeeded.. hahaha... i arrive at selayang hospital around 7am and i punched in at 7.02.. huhu.. (but, none of the students was there yet.. chey!!~~ aku pulak semangat lebeh2..) but itsok, that;s just me..

i drove to selayang hospital, and my syg will bring back the car after his shift finish at 9.. huhu.. i took the bus back to my apartment, and my syg took the bus to selayang hospital.. hehehe... i'm not going to wait the bus at 5.30am.. gila ka... haish.. hoho..

staff nurses and sisters are ok.. so far.. the staff nurse also are very cooperative.. i haven;t found the typical government staff nurse who are famous to be very garang and bad mouth and whatever.. maybe that was many2 years ago story.. haha.. BUT, HOWEVER, I do confront with typical kkm sister.. tapi garang2 beliau tu ada gunanya.. she have to be garang meh.. and i understand her situation.. hahaha... tapi menakotkan la... but i think same je la kj2 nih... tp kj before kerek jek... ini tak kerek, garang je.. hahaha...

ok.. cannot continue already... syg called me to wait for him... his coming home!!!!~~~ heeee!!!~~~ can't wait to meet syg.. heee...

Life

Career:-

i've made my decision to report duty to the only working offer i have, instead of keep on waiting on promises made without justification and guarantee. on 1st october 2009, i am officially an employee of **********.. damn, it sux to know that this organization is my first place to be employed. but whatever it is, face it!~

students were in large number.. in fact, HUGE!~ facilities - not so well organized.. it's not able to cater the students.. students - macam haram.. of course not all of them, but that's what u get on the first impression of mine.. sometimes, it's so hard to breath when u have to handle these students. maybe there will definitely be a bunch of them who are not bad among thousands of them, but of course, you will not find them immediately..

colleagues so far not bad.. few of my classmates are here as well - farid, noyan, linda, kecik, and sunee..

when i was interviewed, they told us to send us for clinical posting - i thought it was a solid clinical posting for my friends and i before we go for teaching and CI-ing the students.. darn!~ it was not going to be that way.. first day of seeing the posting manager (who happened to be the ex-matron of hukm.. *erkkk!~~~*), bad bad bad... ade ke patot nak anto kitorang g umah org tua to jaga the students!!~~ haish... we insist on going to hospital, sudah kena lecture.. in front of other senior CI lagi.. ape daaa~!!~~

first and second day was the not-so-impressive induction days. not excited at all.. layannn....

then we helped out the staff for OSCE... hahaha... so funny and at some point, i think i am going to have heart attack seeing them.. i've seen students who are not performing well in their osce before, but sad to say, this one's worst!~

this coming monday, i am posted to selayang hospital!!~~ *matikudasai*.. if they ask me to give lecture to students, i am of course in my full confidence, but CI-ing the students???? OMG!~~ it's just that to teach them clinically is MAJOR PROBLEM to not only me, but of course all of us.. this is where we are lacking, and this is the part where our school where we graduated will fire us because of this..

talking about our school, haish.. ini lagi satu headache.. my previous HOD (as well as other lecturers) keep on asking us to quit, quit and quit~~ of course i dont like it here, but what should i do?? i need job and i am seriously tired to be jobless again!~

spa called me up for interview for the post of jururawat u41.. somehow, i dont know whether i will get the post or not.. but i guess, there will be no harm going for the interview.. so, i'll be going to the interview on this coming 16th...


Weekend:-
today is saturday, and i am at home.. huhu... syg is having kenduri and i am in my confusing state whether to go or not.. so i am solely depending on syg final decision whether i should go or not.. so, he;s answer is of course no resulting me lepaking at home today.. why on earth i am confuse kan???? because, so far, i have no official introductory to his aunt (except during convo where i only get to say 'mak long', and salam her) plus MASSIVE feelings of guilt for stopping in front of her house not greeting her, EVERYTIME!~ (haish... sshla.. i dont know why, syg also satu, never want to ask me to greet her at her house.. slalu main kuar jek...) adoi..

this is my big conflict now... so everytime syg mention about his older family members - mmg sure aku rase besalah nak mampos.. adeh.... hmmm... mcm mn nih....

k lah.. aku da penat.. nnt la sambong... i dont really feel well... *aaahhh--- choooo@!

1 wOrD..

SHAYTT!!~~ >:(

I have these Dreams...

I have this dream..
to be with someone that I fall in love with,
with all my life..
o how I wish it will come true...

I have this dream..
that when i go to bed, this funky hot guy that I'm in love with,
is next to me, hugging and cuddling me,
have a little whispering chat, give me good night kiss,
and I would smile until I meet him again in my dream..
the next day I wake up,
he's the first 1 that i see..
hmm...
how I wish it will come true...

i know that not everyday is a bright shiny day..
sometimes it's raining, at times, it's thunderstorm..
that's how life goes about..
i think i am prepared to go through the weathers..
but i certainly don;t know if the one that i always think that he's the one,
would want to go through the days with me..

i have this dream...
walking down the aisle, together with him,
smiling like nothing else matters,
hmm.. will this dream come true??

i have this dream...
cruising my life with the one that i love,
helping my loved one to cruise his,
through the ups and downs,
yet, it's hard to tell...

every rainy days, i feel closer to him,
but its sad to not to know how he feels..
but i really hope that he feels the same..

i do not know how this story would end,
but all i am wishing for is my silly dreams would come true..

deep in my heart,
i always love him...

In Despair...

i spend my last weekend somewhere in brunei, with my family and my cousin from my mom's side.. nice place - to eat, to shop and to spend some leisure time..

when i got home, i was expecting nice after holiday time with this person, but until today, it was a total disaster, and total opposite.. damn.. seriously, i wasn't hoping for this..

dammit!~

If I saw U in Heaven..

My heart melt involuntarily when someone sing this song..
I can even smile when I sleep;
and it truly penetrate certain episodes in my dream...
;p

would you know my name
if i saw you in heaven
would it be the same
if i saw you in heaven

I must be strong
and carry on
'cause i know i don't belong here in heaven

would you hold my hand
if i saw you in heaven
would you help me stand
if i saw you in heaven

I'll find my way through night and day
'cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven

Time can bring you down
time can bend your knees
time can break your heart
have you beggin' please
beggin' and please

beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
and I know there'll be no more tears in heaven

would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven
would it be the same
if i saw you in heaven

I must be strong
and carry on
'cause i know i don't belong here in heaven

'cause i know i don't belong here in heaven

Prolonged CRIB indirectly caused me to get CHronic Lazy Ass Disease!!~~

But thank God, I don't even have bedsore.. hoho!!~~
my fingers and my thoughts have been longed for posting something in this junk, but it doesn't seem to reach my motor cortex.. ngeehee..
So, while trying to wait for someone to text me, my motor cortex FINALLY working!
[OMG!! I think my right click button on this laptop is sick!~ hoh!~]

So far, I am still jobless.. but in dilemma right now.. Last Friday (just count the date from this post.. this post was posted on Sunday..) when I was sleeping like a sleeping beauty, my cell rang, and guess what.. it's Lydia from Masterskill.. yeah, as a junior nursing lecturer.. damn!~ i was waiting for call from HUKM.. but the number on my cell's screen show that it was definitely not from HUKM.. *sigh*

ok, back to the story, lydia told me that i am hired, and asked me to report for duty.. the funny thing is, at first she asked me when, then i asked her back, when should i report myself for duty, then she told me that my friend Azizul Farid told her that he will report duty on 1st October, so her expression over the phone was like wanted to ask me whether i can come with this Azizul Farid or not.. adoi.. cakap jela datang 1hb.. dah la org baru bgn tdo.. lagi nak men teka teki lak.. hoh!!~~ so, i told her yes..

i bought my ticket on the 30th.. there goes my 99-ringgit ticket on the 4th!~ my mom gonna kill me if she finds out.. but i promise, when i get my paycheck, i'll pay her back.. half maybe.. hahaha..

so, my dilemma is... i am certainly not ready to be an educator to nursing students yet!~ i wanna go into service first!!!~~~ aaa!!!~~~ but there will certainly no private hospitals out there would be keen to hire me, cuz i'm bonded!~ and the government seems to act slower than pokemon's slowpoke.. haish~~ but!~ (to many buts here!!) do i have any other choice??

someone told me to be patience and there will be way out for this one.. hoho!!~~ thanks someone.. *muah!~* [identity is classified!~ ;p) so, i am calming myself down.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...................

i am bz with my facebook right now, having new addiction of playing games there- seeding and harvesting, killing ppl, kung-fu fighting.. and the list goes on.. i am doing all those stuff wondering when this episode of life comes into an end.. hoh!~

alrite.. that;s it i guess... damn, i though i have a lot of ideas.. siapa suruh tangguh2... langsung ilang..

p/s- miss u darl!!~~

Few of This, Few of That

Wow!~~ it's been quite a while (again) after my last posts. Right now, I am waiting for my 'smiling eyes' for his interview.. Not wanting to follow him to his interview area, so I decided to wait in the car.. hoho!!~~

Few of My Graduation...
Graduation was on 15th August 2009.. at last, i've graduated and am officially detached to the university.. which means, another episode of life has begun.. and during my graduation, for the first time in my life, i received bouquets of flowers.. i mean LIVING roses.. from my junior, from my 'smiling eyes' ' significant other (blush2!!) and big bouquet from my family, and of course, a 'e-key mos! (adam style of pronouncing mickey mouse)' from my family..

The day was hot and my make up was run down by the sweat.. darn!~ the problem with my graduation day is, the 'smiling eyes' did not have time to take pic with me while he was in his full robe.. [basically, when there is other ppl around the scene, i would be easily 'kicked-out'.. sob..sob...]

Whatever it is, there is the end of my first degree life... which means - my source of income is officially dead! hoh!!~~

Few of the JOb HUnting..
I hate this part.. Until today, I am jobless... hoh!!~~ It;s not that I did not send my resume anywhere, but somehow, thanks to the government, because I am officially bonded to JPA, I am not wanted by the private hospital.. nak tunggu government hospital, omg.. I am wondering when they will call my friends and I for placement.

Thus, I went for interview at masterskill... I am not that enthusiast to work there, because I don;t think I am ready yet to be a teacher, especially nursing teacher.. i cannot make my decision yet IF they were happen to call me, but we'll see how it goes..

Few of Miscellanious stuff..
It's 4th of Ramadhan now.. The best thing about Ramadhan this year is the experience of break my fast with the 'smiling eyes' whenever we have the chance to go together..

I'll be going back home tomorrow, cuz I dont know else what to do.. and I have this kind of not-so-good feelings about my smiling eyes... this is the problem when u said something very serious in the first place, then u took time to change ur story... itsokla.. if happen to read this, maybe i won't know if ur not telling me the truth, but trust me, u won't like it either if i were to do the same thing to you.. huhu...

I really hate it when it comes to the part when i am fighting with someone.. adoi.. i've tried to control myself to not to become angry, but sometimes, i just can;t help it.. not that i like to get angry but yeah, sometimes, i just explode out of nowhere.. errk!!~~ but hey, i've rationalized it before i explode ok.. if it is necessary then i'll get angry.. fair, huh?? but i guess, this is what i should go through.. until when??? hmm... i have no specific details on that... may be i should just live with it.. hmmm...

oh!! and other thing about my job hunting, i am waiting for a good news from my department.. OMG.. I hope there will b one.. but I don;t know when, maybe today, maybe tomorrow.. errr...


I- who keeps on hoping!!~~ for everything....

KrispyKreme Today..

right now, at this moment, i am at krispy kreme midvalley..
firstly, i heard about this place which exists in america from my filipino fren when we were discussing about doughnut.. to my surprise, it's here, in Malaysia. this is the second shop i found - the other one at times square.. well, the doughnut is okay, too sweet for my taste buds.. hoho..

the not so good part is, yesterday, i am so pissed off with ppl around me... errkkk... starting from yesterday's morning.. hoh!~~ as the time flew to the evening, i think i hit the boiling point.. boom.. there goes me with my temper.. thank god, it's just a bit of myself.. fuh..

when someone asked me what that someone can do to redeem the wrong that the someone has done, i really don't know what to tell.. i don't even have anything in my mind for a start.. actually, i am still a little bit mad for that, honestly, until today..

i thought today would be better for me, maybe the redemption is by accompanying each other to i don't know, jalan2.. chit-chatting.. or anything, but nah.. the suey thing about me is, my plan always doesn't work as i planned... sometimes, i don't feel like planning, but well, i have been living with plans in my life since young..

i have no ability to tell whatever it is in my mind, cuz usually, and most of the times, it would cause disaster.. i was thinking, maybe, if i keep it to myself, it would not cause bigger disaster, but then, sometimes, again i was wrong.. well, that's the risk that i have to bear..

sitting here, watching outside the hallway of this shopping complex, i see a lot of ppl.. most of them walking with company.. sweet... friends, lovers, family, huhu... and here i am, with my baby lappy hoping that my 2 phones will ring.. erkk.. it's not going to happen..

at this point, i can be very violent to anything and anyone who pissed me off.. [i'm hoping that it will not going to happen..]

at this point of time, i really regret coming back to kl this early.. well, i knew something bad is going to happen but i ignore it.. hmm... it happened..

sssss...

hmmmmmmmmmm.........

terasa bosan pulak ari ni.. teramat bosan dari biasa.. mlm ni pulak, adalah malam yg sunyi...
hmmm...

hari ni aku rasa aku diserang ocd.. hoho.. dari aku bangon sampai la skarang ni, sikit2 tekan tepon, sikit tekan tepon.. hoho.. yala, manala tau ada msg yg aku tak sedar.. hoho.. tp 90% kecewa.. hoho.. tu la sebab aku sunyi kot..

hr ni aku sangat bosan.. kemas rumah sudah, iron bj sudah, settle laundry sudah.. tapi, masih lagi bosan.. selain ocd, aku rasa aku mcm kena serangan meroyan.. hoho!!~~

bila aku tengok tv, aku rasa nak tdo, bila aku baring nak tdo, tak mo tdo pulak.. taik tol.. haish.. suka menyeksa aku.. aku buat2 bangon pagi dekat tengah hari dengan harapan cepatla malam, tp lambat juga malam..

da datang malam, susah pulak nak tdo.. haish...

so, apa aku nak buat ni????

hmm.. semalam ada game audi cup.. aku tak tengok pon.. p aku tengok news tadi, man u menang 2-1.. yeay!!~~ hoho... nnt lawan bayern munich.. bila aku pon tak tau..

eh, esok jumaatla!!~~
cepat btol minggu ni abes.. lusa sabtu.. aku blk kl sudah... macam2 la kononnya aku nak buat.. ada conference aku tuh.. pastu sambung dengan convocation.. yeay.. at last aku graduate.. ada extra lagi kenapa aku blk agak awal ni, tapi takpela, dirahsiakan kot untuk menjaga kredibiliti pihak tertentu.. hoho..

nnt bila blk kl, aku pon tak tau aku dapat enjoy atau tidak.. hoho.. income blom ada lagi.. duit convo pon aku blom bayar.. hahaha.. mcm mn aku nak mintak big boss ni.. rumah tengah renovate, dorang ni byk pki duit pulak.. cam takot lak aku nak mintak.. hahaha..

aku blk kl, esoknya ada dinner.. ermm.. aku blom plan btol2 lagi, join atau tidak.. kenapa?? ntah.. kalau boring aku di sini masih bersisa, malasla aku pegi.. byk lagi benda2 aku nak kena pikir dalam kepala ni.. haish.. tp aku mls nak pikir.. boleh ke gitu??

next dalam list aku, is to watch movies...
antara movie2 tersebut adalah:-
- public enemies.. [aku harap belom habis g, tapi skali tengok nnt da abes.. waaaaa..]
- harry potter.. [walaupun org ckp tak best, aku nk tengok juga.. hoh!!~~]
- g.i joe
- mm... nnt aku check balik list movie apa yg aku tertinggal.. hoho!!!

adoiler.. cemana la aku nak stop penyakit ocd aku ni.. hoh!!~~ ok2.. aku cuba tidur.. br pkl 10.. hmmm... takpela.. baring2, golek2, ne tau tertidur.. counting sheeps will help i guess..

ok.. tu jela kot.. aku da malas.. malas segalanya.. tutup laptop!

I DoNt KnOw WhAt To Do!!~~

it's been like 3-4 weeks i'm on holiday doing nothing at home..
this is roughly my 24-hrs routine for most of the day..

0000 - 0100/0200 - still watching tv or doing craps on the net
0100/0200 - 1100 - sleeping and sleeping.. some lucky days, i get goooood dreams.. most of the day, i dont dream.. hoho..
1100 - 1300 - watching house/csi/csi ny/afc/anything interesting on movie channel
1300 - 1400 - my mum comes home and so do my lunch.. haha.. eat!!~~
1400 - 1700 - watch tv/tv watch me.. ssss..
1700 - 1800 - angkat kain jemuran, lipat baju, kadang2 makan pisang goreng, kadang2 aku iron bj la terus
1800 - 1900 - online jap, tengok2 facebook (kalo internet tidak di bar la.. hahaha) pastu mandi
1900 - 2030 - g dinner, kadang2 aku mls nak g dinner sbb aku da tak tau nak mkn ape
2030 - 2100 - o9 jap,, kaco2 org jap..
2200 - 2359 - tgk twi.. hoho!!~~ time ini jugalah adalah waktu plg bz jari jemari aku mengetuk2 keypad telepon... hoho.. [walaubagaimanapun, tertakluk kepada sebarang pindaan.. omputih ckp subject to changes..] hoho..

ha.. best kan... macam mane pon tadi, blk dari dinner, ade lagu lame yg best.. hoho.. this is for u...

Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu
Karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu
Oh karena hati tlah letih

Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg selalu bisa kau sentuh
Aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu
Tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati
Oh bayangmu seakan-akan

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yg kuhela kau selalu ada

Hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang
Dan sepi, dan sepi

Selalu ada, kau selalu ada
Selalu ada, kau selalu ada

Once
Dealova

Errr.... no song????

yep!! no song for this post.. huhu..
when i logged in to this account, it shows that my last post was on the 20th June 2009..
wow.. quite sometimes..
well, i do have few songs in my head, but it just doesnt really suits my feelings right now.,
i am graduating this august, and yet, i still dont know what to do..
i am currently living thousand miles away from there, huhu.. and i am really missing there already.. well, basically missing there since i parted there on saturday morning..
i left there and huuu uuu uuu.. missing there already..
so, what song suits my feeling right now??? errr... i don;t know, maybe something spicy?? nahhh..
maybe something hot..??? i have stomachache... maybe something slow??? yeah, could be..
orrrr???? ntahla..
okay.. end of csi show, end of my blog then..
i am so boring i dont know what to do..

*sigh*

Especially For You.. uuuuu....

Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was going through
All the time we were apart I thought of you

You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

Especially for you
I wanna tell you I was feeling that way too
And if dreams were wings, you know
I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I'm next to you

No more dreaming about tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you

And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

Especially for you
I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
How I'm certain that our love was meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now that I'm next to you

I've waited long enough to find you
I wanna put all the hurt behind you Oh,
And I wanna bring out all the love inside you, +Oh

You were in my heart
My love never changed

Especially For You
Kylie Minogue + Kermit Sesame Street

Far Away ~~~ hoho!~~

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know


That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore


On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know


So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know


I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long

So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Far Away
Nickelback

Dreamed a Dream

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they turn your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame

And still I dream he’d come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from the hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

Les Miserables / Susan Boyle BGT

1 2 3 4!~~ hoho!!~~

1-2-1-2-3-4
Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make me feel better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad

Barely getting mad
I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy

Its as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4
There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you

There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you

Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad

You’re the best that I’ve had
And I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy
It’s easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4

There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you
There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you
(I love you) I love you

You make it easy
It’s easy as 1 2 1 2 3 4
There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you

There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you
(I love you) I love you
1-2-3-4

I love you
(I love you) I love you

1234
Plain White T's

Got Game?????!!!! Hoho... She Have It!!~~

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick
Let's have some fun, this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

I wanna kiss you
But if I do then I might miss you, babe
It's complicated and stupid
Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid
Guess he wants to play, wants to play
A love game, a love game

Hold me and love me
Just want touch you for a minute
Maybe three seconds is enough
For my heart to quit it

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick
Don't think too much just bust that kick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

Let's play a love game
Play a love game
Do you want love?
Or you want fame?
Are you in that game?
Dans le love game

I'm on a mission 
And it involves some heavy touching, yeah
You've indicated you're interest
I'm educated in sex, yes
Now I want it bad, want it bad
A love game, a love game

Hold me and love me
Just want touch you for a minute
Maybe three seconds is enough
For my heart to quit it

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick
Don't think too much just bust that kick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

Let's play a love game
Play a love game
Do you want love?
Or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game

I can see you staring there from across the block
With a smile on your mouth and your hand on your (huh!)
The story of us, it always starts the same
With a boy and a girl and a (huh!) and a game

Let's play a love game
Play a love game
Do you want love?
Or you want fame?
Are you in the game?
Dans le love game

Love Game
Lady Gaga

IN the end.. it was a money-can't-buy experience...

lalalala...
it's the end of my get up early in the morning week.. huhu.. feels like shrek-ing in the blog today.. hehe..
let's start!!~~

So she said, "What's the problem baby?"
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love, think about it every time
I think about it, can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it 'cause I can't ignore it if it's love
Makes me wanna turn around and face me
But I don't know nothing about love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Because everybody's after love

So I said, "I'm a snowball running"
Running down into the spring
That's coming all this love melting under
Blue skies belting out sunlight, shimmering love

Well baby I surrender to the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone
Never alone, no, no

Come on, come on
Move a little closer
Come on, come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, come on
Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love
Accidentally in love
Accidentally in love

Accidentally
I'm in love, I'm in love
I'm in love, I'm in love
I'm in love, I'm in love

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her
Love, I'm in love

Somehere Only Ww Know

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know? T

his could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Truth.. Lies... Cries...

hoho!!~~
da lama2 tak post apa2, tiba2 aku post dengan tajuk pelik.. hahaha.. sebenarnya aku tak tau nak letak title apa, so aku teringat dengan album letto yg aku beli tu.. so aku letak jela.. hehehe...
so, let's do a little bit of summary here.. see whether i can recall or not what happen to me in the past weeks.. hoho..

Life:~
Life was okay and at times, it was cool, and at times, best.. hoho..~~~ biasala.. life.. full of ups and downs.. things happens.. and ppl talks.. hoho!!~~ yet... that is how u have stories for your life.. some ppl tell tales, some ppl tell stories.. hoho.. ape beze eh?? ade kot.. p nnt aku fikir balik kot.. hoho..

Life for this past few weeks was full of unorganized life schedule.. hoho!!~~ camni kot bile jadik nurse.. but towards the end, it's getting okay and full of rendezvouz.. hahahaha... i like that part.. hehe.. why?? because that's the part where i think is the best of my life.. so far..

Life was colored with clinical posting... hoho!!~~ 3 weeks in medical ward and currently in surgical ward.. i can feel my classmates and i are getting matured in every single action that we made in the posting so far.. ( i think..) hahhaa.. it's from my humble observation throughout the years we've been in clinical posting. this posting have MASSIVE differents compared to previous ones. clearer job prospects, clearer input and output, more empowerment.. COOL!!~~ it is undeniably a collection of tiring points, but somehow, u come back home with either satisfaction or dissatisfied with whatever happens back then.. but still, there is tomorrow (kalo panjang umur lerr...) to do things again..

Sometimes, life can be plastics! (ouch!) seriously.. hoho.. but again, that's life.. u can't expect u are getting the REAL things in life especially when your life are supported by other ppl.. sometimes, u see the unexpected.. sometimes u the expected stuff is hidden.. maybe, not hidden, maybe we are just too blind to see it..

Life is full of truth, lies, and cries... face it!~

Laugh!!~
Laughter's the best medicine, that's what they said.. so, everyday, i'll laugh at least once.. hahahaha... even though not laughing with ppl, sometimes i laugh to myself when i reminisce back what happen to me.. well.. even at times it hurts, but seriously, the best part in your life will overcome ur sadness and hurts.. and the bitter part will slowly fade away and taken over by the sweetest thing in life..

the other part of L, is also interesting.. hoho.. but it seems hard to translate it into words and telling stories.. may be not yet... but looks like life and laugh dragged me to another episode of L.. until when?? i don't know.. i don't want to know.. because, now i think i prefer to wait rather than knowing.. it's better this way.. hoho!!~~

if i were to put every single moments of the seconds that i had for the past weeks, i don't think i have the passion to type them all.. hahaha... but i think that summarizes 50% of it and maybe more depends on which part.. hehe..

i cant wait for tomorrow to come,
yet i'm anxious for what to come...

Kali ni.. Mari menyanyi...

You could have knocked me out with a... (feather)
I know you heard this all before, but were just hell's... (neighbors)
Whoa-oa-oa-oa,
Wh-wh-why won't the world revolve around me?
Build my dreams,
Trees grow all over the streets.

But I don't know much about classic cars,
But I got a lot of friends stuck Classic Coke.
Down set one, hut-hut, hike,
Media Blitz,

Lets hear it for Americas suitehearts!
I must confess,
I'm in love with my own sins...
Lets hear it for Americas suitehearts!
I must confess,
I'm in love with my own sins...

You can bow and pre-tend,
That you don't, don't, don't know you're a legend, oh,
Time, time, time, hasn't told
Anyone else yet...
Let my love loose again.

But I don't know much about classic cars,
But I got a lot of friends talking Classic Coke.
Down set one, hut-hut, hike,
Media Blitz,

Lets hear it for Americas suitehearts!
I must confess,
I'm in love with my own sins...
Lets hear it for Americas suitehearts!
I must confess,
I'm in love with my own sins...

You could have knocked me out with a... (feather)
I know you heard this all before...

Lets hear it for Americas suitehearts!
I must confess,
I'm in love with my own sins...
Lets hear it for Americas suitehearts!
I must confess, (I must confess)
I'm in love with my own sins...

Suitehearts... (Lets hear it, oh lets hear it,)
Suitehearts... (Lets hear it, oh lets hear it,)
Suitehearts!

America's Suiteheart
Fall Out Boy

Aku bercerita...

hmm...
susah aku nak explain.. tp aku rase skarang, terpaksa jugak...
aku dah jumpe die, bertahun dulu.. tp aku rs mmg tak boleh..
so, die kekal sebagai mimpi..
aku cari yg seakan die, tp last2, terhidu juge, kemudian hilang...
mmg aku kecewa, frust ape kejadahnye.. sbb aku kalah 'judi'...
aku klh untuk sesuatu yg sangat besar...
aku klh pon sebab die jugak...
hmm...
kadang-kadang, mimpi yang indah, tak leh bertahan lame..
satu hari pasti ade yg bangunkan aku dari mimpi..
bkn aku saje2 nak ade perasaan ni... (tolongla faham part ni..)
dari bertahun dulu sampai sekarang, die mmg tak pernah hilang..
tp asal tak pernah ade yg tanye tros je dr tuan punya badan??
aku rase aku takde mengapi-apikan mn2 pihak pon...
hmmm...
skrang..
untuk semua..
ini pengakuan aku...
mmg die orang yg aku cari..
mmg die yg aku impikan..
sahih.. die yg aku inginkan..
tp..
aku tau aku kat mn..
aku phm keadaan die..
aku tak penah cucuk2 die.. (stakat yg aku ingat..)
aku tak penah goda2 die.. (tak taula kalau nampak mcm menggoda...)
tak penah telintas pon kat hati yg kecik ni nak bgtau die sume nih...
(kalau nak gitau, dari dulu tu jugakla aku da bgtau.. aku ni bukan suka simpan2 punye orang)
hmmm..
part ni mmg aku tak pernah excellent..
sbb byk sgt part dalam idop aku dianugerahkan kejayaan kot..
pa pe pon, aku ttp bersyukur..
aku jumpe ape yg aku cari..
mule2 dulu, ms aku gamble, aku ckp kat diri aku..
mustahil kot.. tu semua yg ape yg ko rase, yg ko impi2kan..
it was only a desire...
tapi aku boleh tersenyum sikit kot...
sbb ape yg kite INGINKAN, ape yg kite IMPIKAN (bukan ape yg kite NAK),
sebenarnye ade...
cume..
ntahla... susah tol..
ape yg aku terangkan, ape yg aku ckp, mesti timbul kontroversi...
pas ni,
kalau ade juge..
ntahla..
nak buat macam mana..
kitar hidup kot..
aku terima...

Ketika itu, JIKA tiba-tiba....

Ketahuilah oleh mu


Jika kau merasa lelah dan tak berdaya dari usaha yang sepertinya sia-sia..
Allah SWT tahu betapa keras engkau sudah berusaha..

Ketika kau sudah menangis sekian lama dan hatimu masih terasa pedih.
Allah SWT sudah menghitung air matamu..

Ketika kau fikir bahwa hidupmu sedang menunggu sesuatu dan waktu serasa berjalan begitu saja.
Allah SWT sedang menunggu bersamamu..

Ketika kau berfikir bahwa kau sudah mencoba segalanya dan tidak tahu hendak berbuat apa lagi..
Allah SWT sudah punya jawabannya..

Ketika segala sesuatu menjadi tidak masuk akal dan kau merasa tertekan.
Allah SWT dapat menenangkanmu..

Ketika kau merasa sendirian dan teman-temanmu terlalu sibuk untuk bertanya khabar.
Allah SWT selalu berada disampingmu..

Ketika kau mendambakan sebuah cinta sejati yang tak kunjung datang..
Allah SWT mempunyai Cinta dan Kasih yang lebih besar dari segalanya dan Dia telah menciptakan seseorang yang akan menjadi pasangan hidupmu kelak..

Ketika kau merasa bahwa kau mencintai seseorang, namun kau tahu cintamu tak terbalas.
Allah SWT tahu apa yang ada di depanmu dan Dia sedang mempersiapkan segala yang terbaik untukmu..

Ketika kau merasa telah dikhianati dan dikecewakan.
Allah SWT dapat menyembuhkan lukamu dan membuatmu tersenyum..

Jika tiba-tiba kau dapat melihat jejak-jejak harapan
Allah SWT sedang berbisik kepadamu.

Ketika segala sesuatu berjalan lancar dan kau merasa ingin mengucap syukur.
Allah SWT telah memberkahimu..
Ketika sesuatu yang indah terjadi dan kau dipenuhi ketakjuban.
Allah SWT telah tersenyum padamu..

Ketika kau memiliki tujuan untuk dipenuhi dan mimpi untuk digenapi.
Allah SWT sudah membuka matamu dan memanggilmu dengan namamu..

Ingat dimanapun kau atau kemanapun kau menghadap.
Allah SWT Maha Mengetahui.

ok... macam mane skarang nih????

hmmm...
susah betol...
kadang2 mmg rasa mcm mimpi.. kalau betul ni mimpi, aku mmg tanak bangon..
sebab kalau bangon, aku takut nanti tak seindah yang aku mimpikan...
hoho...
bila cakap soal hati.. memang aku tak nak ckp... sbb ade hati aku dah tinggal sikit sudah.. miskin..
banyak sangat makan hati, lepas tu terbuang hati lagi.. haish.. susah btol bile cakap soal hati... hmmm...
hati ini milik siapa?
aku gamble lagi skali.. tapi aku tau, kali ni mcm susah jek...
kalau berakhir dengan tak seberapa, aku kene ready jela kan..
tapi kalau berakhir dengan best.. akula orang yg plg bertuah di muka bumi ni..
wow!~
jauh lagi, and aku pon blom buat apa2 gantt chart lagi.. takot woooo... kali ni, biarlah aku cube untuk rasa ada orang lain yg buat gantt chart untuk aku.. hahaha.. boleh ke? hmm.. gantt chart aku, aku rasa aku simpan dulu kot.. sampai waktunya..
macam mana aku simpan hati aku yang tinggal sikit tapi yang part yg paling best ni untuk 'sesuatu' yang dah lama aku tunggu... hoho...
kadang2 aku cube untuk lupekan, tapi, name tu jugak yg aku sebot.. hahahaha... (patutla aku ditinggalkan kaw2.. aku ingat lagi alasan die - die cakap aku just nak gunekan die kot, sampai satu hari nanti, sebelom aku tinggalkan die, baik die tinggalkan aku.. - mcm cb jek.. tapi elok juge die sedar awal2.. aku pon tak kesah dah.. hoh!~)
hmm..
so, skarang ni, aku just nak appreciate ape sahaje yang terjadi dan bakal terjadi.. aku play safe (skali lagi diingatkan, bukan kondom) je kot.. anything happen, i should be ready.. sebab masing2 dah ade gantt chart.. wah... sedeh2.. aku jek takde.. huhu.. tapi takpela..
seriously...~~
hati aku mule berkate2 kembali...
kalau boleh, aku tanak bangon.. huhu...
bolehke?? ~~
hmm...~~~
kadang-kadang, aku senyom sorang diri.. hahaha..
weh.. hampir kritikal sudah...
hmmm...~~

Nasib baek... fuh!!~

hoho...
nasib baik... kalau tak, rahsia terpendam hampir 4 thn, hampir terbongkar jua..
hahaha...
semoga smpi bila2 pun jadik rahsia juge... hoho.. (boleh ke??~)
harap2 bolehla ye...

;p
:)

aku tersenyum lagi..
sign and symptom insomnia aku.. senyom.. haha...

:)

CAUTION!!~~

~ aku ilang concentration...
~ ish.. aku dalam bahaya...
~ hahahahaha...
~ hmmm...
~ smiling....
~ hadoi ler...
~ tdr mlm payah juge...
~ hahahaha...
~ ish...
~ k.. dah2...
~ bengong jek..
~ hoho...
~ ;p

p/s: aini adalah simptom2 aku tak cukup tido dan stress.. waduh... tolong... hahaha...

susah nak selesaikan nih...

ape yg terpendam?

boleh tak dijauhkan??

biarkan saja??

:) :| :s xoxo!!

Soal Hati???

hoho...
tetibe mcm jiwa2an lak title tuh.. hoho..
tadi mase main nak main game ngan member, tetibe kami membicarakan soal hati..
haha..
bukan bicara la, lebeh kepada mainan, kate farid, setiap statement kene ade hati.. hahaha
kami pon bercakapla, setiap ayat kene ade 'hati'..
aku ckp kat die, aku takde hati..
die kate, nasib baek ade hati..
hahahal.. tetibe, name kak ati pon tekeluar skali..

satu peristiwa malang dalam idup aku dulu, buat aku rase mcm aku hilang hati.. hahaha..
best juge kalau gini...
kosong...
zero..
nil..
zilch..
nada...
empty..

(maksud aku, untuk hal2 duniawi la.. sesungguhnya, kalau nak diisi ngan ukhrawi, banyak je ruang lagi.... huhu.. tengah cube la untuk mengisiknye..)

oleh itu, aku kene cari sesuatu dari the Greatest dulu...
mane tau pastu ati aku diisik kembali..

tapi, elok juge kalau gini.. takdela aku cepat melenting cam dulu..
melatah pon dah kurang sudah...
bykkan di bhgn kepala.. haaa.. baru macho babe~~~

skarang, aku sgt bersyukur sebab peristiwa itu berlaku.. mmg Tuhan itu maha adil!~ jgn memain!!~ huhu..

Chill Babe~!~ hehe...

Dinner Macam P***t, tapi Contigency Plan Kami Best!!

alkisahnya, kami mendapat jemputan ke makan malam (cewah).. bertempat di de palma hotel, ampang.. kami mmg la tak datang awal sangat, datang2 jek suma tempat sudah dibookingkan.. haish.. yg boleh solat, pegi solat time tu, tinggal cornell ngan mena yg setia menanti dalam ballroom tu untuk mencari tempat untuk kami.. tp menurut mena, 20 minit pon blom ade lagi.. so dorang pon melepak di luar..

sedang kami melepak di luar, orang pusat sukan datang and memujuk2 kami untuk masuk sebelum menteri datang.. tapi kami insist la sebab mmg takde tempat.. dala makan hidang, nak kene dudok asing2.. nnt ade yg ddk sorang2.. hish.. datang ramai2 takkan nak gitu pulak kan.. kami pon cakapla, takpe bang, kami dah naik, tapi takde tempat, so kami balikla.. (mcam redzuan punya ayat kan..) takpela, kalo tak dapat makan pon bukan kami rugi betol pon.. dorang pon tak rugi sbb tempat mmg penoh.. ada jugakla org yg tak dapat tempat ddk.. tapi, dipujuk punya pujuk akhirnya, sebelum kami sempat menahan dan berkata apa2, zul, farid ngan fir dah jalan dengan konfidennya naik atas.. haish!~

alkisah keduanya, ada XX dan XY ni, mengalami konflik mereka yang tersendiri dimana XY mengalami eksiden kecik... selamatla, takdela yang bermasalah sangat pon sebenarnya.. masa kami kluar tu, kawan aku si Josephine, msg aku, tanya mn tempat duduk aku, aku pon ckpla, tmpt ddk aku kat my mom's chicken rice.. then, terbongkar rasia mengatakan bahawa XX pny kereta tu terlanggar kereta member Jo.. cet.. kecik rupanya dunia ini.. kami sepakat mengatakan bahawa mcm takde pape pon terjadik ngan kereta tu.. depan kot, belakang ok ja.. haha..

sudahnya, kami pon bergerakla secara berjemaah pegi ke ampang point konon... tengah2 jalan tu, terdengar la suara mcm XY terjerit2.. hoh!~ pastu, terlalu la pulak dkt kereta XY tuh.. waduh!!~ tibe2 XY tu kluar dengan semangatnya, jerit2 kat kitorang lak.. macam c#%^& tol! hoh@~ lagi ilang semangat kitorang.. melayang.. malu beb.. dahla tengah dunia, semua orang pandang beb.. nasib bkn hari cerah kan.. semua orang dah balik keje.. bangang tol! hoh!~

dua2 kejenisan X tu konflik gile babeng, tapi nak libatkan orang lain.. bangang tak bangang tuh.. half dari kitorang dah mmg tak nak langsong.. eh, kitorang tanak, takyah la paksa2.. siap kate dah book dah meje untuk kitorang.. astaga.. mcm alasan budak2 pra-matang jek.. haish..

so, di sebalik keriuhan konflik mcm drama tuh, aku masuk campor.. payah tol.. selain aku, redzuan, mena (pon bising mcm macik2 sudah dengan rasa tak puas hatinya), noyan (tetibe besuara dengan semangatnya setelah diherdik), yang lain2 maintain senyap.. dalam hati mereka (liza, cornell, wani), takpela, cukup dah tu.. kang tambah kang ntah ape lak jadik ye.. hahaha... XY tu pon balik2 bising2 lagi.. haish.. aku nye ayat simple jek.. 'CHILL'.. sudah.. pandai pon senyap.. hoh!~ so, aku bg kunci kete kat noyan, sp nk blah, blah dulu, sape nak ikot aku masok jap, setakat nk bg silence sket dorang tu, ikot.. so, yang ikot aku redzuan ngan lija.. yg lain chow sudah,.. pegi my mum's chicken rice tuh...

kami masok pon lagi mcm haram.. baru nak sebok2 cari tempat, cakap carik dah.. hoh!!~ pra-matang btol!~ kami masok, duduk jap, nyanyi negaraku, baca doa, blah! senang jek.. hahahhahaha... kami bertiga yg masok tadi, masok kete farid, tunggu dorang datang.. dorang pon tak makan sane,.. hahaha.. kenapa? kena tanya tuan punya badan.. hehehe..

then kami bergerak bersama2 ke my mum's chicken rice, makan2, gelak2, gambar2, dan bercanda... this is our contigency plan.. hoho!~ lagi menarik, lagi tertarik, lagi d Bomb babe... huhu... nsb kami tak besar.. dan kami tak kuat.. hahaha...

lepas makan2, kami pon bergerak balik.. lepas nih, kalo ada XX atau XY jempot makan, aku tanak ikot lagi.. hoh!~ bikin panas woh!!~ mcm la kami lak yg bersalah diatas kemalangan yang menimpa mereka.. dah takdir.. insurans kan ada.. claim jela kalo tanak bayar pon.. haish... apela guna insurans tu.. kawan aku yang terlibat, yang dilanggar pon rilek jek tak pegi report polis.. hadoi..

tp untuk reflection aku sendiri, aku tak sangka 1 thing pada aku.. asal aku rilek jek eh?? biasa aku kalau orang tengking2 nih darah aku naik sampai ke kepala.. silap2 boleh burst - stroke gitu.. na'uzubillah.. tapi alhamdulillah, aku rilek.. kan best kalau aku begini sepanjang masa... hahaha..
kepada kawan2, walaupun 1st half malam tu mcm palat sket, tapi mesti ada hikmah.. kalau tak, tak merasa la kita makan kat mak linda onn nye nasik ayam ngan bapak linda onn nye mee.. hahahaha...

wassalam...

JB I LOVE!!!~ [Part 5]

huuuu... hahahahahaha... hahahahaha...
kahkahkahkahkahkah....
hikhikhikhikhikhik...
kekekekekekekekekeke...
hohohohohohohohohohoho...
hehehehehehehehehehehehe...
wakakakakakakakakakakaka.....

huhu...
kenape aku mulekan dengan gelak yang tak terhingga itu?? hahahaha.. sampai sekarang, kalau nak diingat2kan, hari ni mmg aku nak tergelak2.. hahahaha...

sebenarnya, part 5 ni adalah sambungan untuk part 4 tu (mmg la kan..), iaitu hari ke3 kitorang kat JB.. tapi, menurut part 4, terjadi conflict yang tidak diingini pada malam itu.. huhu.. dlm crita lainnya adalah, 'To go or not to go'.. huhu... itu tema pada pagi yang cerah itu..

conflict yang sepatutnya diselesaikan semalam, sebelum tido ni membuatkan semua kami merasa tekanan dan ketegangan di situ.. kita ada 3 pihak, pihak nak balik, pihak nak stay, ngan pihak neutral.. hahaha...

mcm mn pon, aku bg kesimpulan sahaja la.. (and aku tak melibatkan tuan rumah dalam hal ini eh... kita2 ja..) ~ tula, aku ajak bincang semalam tu, semua gelak2.. bergomol2, bermesra2.. aku sepak jugak budak2 tu.. huhu... and then, pada pagi itu, untuk memberikan pengajaran terhadap ketidakseriusan mereka, aku buat keputusan sendiri, senang.. hahaha.. balik.. balik terus.,. tak yah singgah di mana2 lagi.. hahaha.. muke mereka pada pagi tu mmg tak boleh blah.. hahaha... mcm gaya aku ni pn midah, dorang kene marah pn midah (pada hari Jumaat yang mulia, bersamaan 20hb Februari 2009, aku menemani rakan yang kusayang untuk menghadap puan midah dan mendengar leteran pn midah.. ekekekekek... nnt la aku crita kot.. kalau ada masa,...) hahahaha... tulah.. pengajarannya, kalau kita berbincang, bincang elok2.. hish.. nasib aku dah dengan dorang ni untuk tahun ke 4.. kalo idak, mmg aku tak kawan lagi ngan dorang nih.. huhu..

pastu, bila nak balik (beg dah siap dah ni...), malu2 konon... hahaha... tak boleh blah la beb crita pagi tu.. aku ingat2 balik pon lawak nak mampos bile terkenangkan muke korang.. hahaha... aku pon berat hati nak balik... hehehe.. hmmm... mereka masih lagi beraksi seperti semalam.. tapi kita hold dulu.. sbb aku pon tak tau mcm mn nak meneruskan crita ni... hehe..

pagi tu, lepas kami siap2, tuan rumah bawak kami pegi breakfast di restoran dekat ngan rumah.. kami sampai2 sana, bau roti canai menusuk kalbu (cewah.. sampai kalbu tu..) serius weh.. secara tak langsung, perut aku melompat mengatakan ingin mencernakan roti telur tersebut.. hahaha.. so, di restoran, kami dibahagikan kepada dua puak.. puak lelaki dan puak perempuan.. hahahaha... ini pon boleh jadik isu kepada pihak lelaki untuk menguatkan lagi usul konflik pada pagi itu.. hahaha... miskinnnn.... tp serius, roti telor tu mmg sedap.. roti telor kat situ dah set bar yang tinggi untuk menjadi perbandingan kepada suma roti telor yang aku akan makan dalam hidop aku.. setakat ni, roti itu masih menjadi igauan perut dan tekak aku... waaaaaa.....

then kami balik, hahaha.. ini adalah sambungan konflik tersebut.. haiya,... mmg sshla nak dikarang cerita ini.. sebab, literally there was nothing to tell because we literally say nothing.. 3 puak masih belum mencapai kata sepakat.. terutama pihak nak balik tu.. haish... aku senang ja.. nak balik, jom! aku drive.. takde singgah2.. chow~ JOM!!!

akhirnya, kami pun mengangkat beg masing-masing... hmmm... kami pun melangkah kaki...
kami kuatkan setiap langkah yang kami ambil... dan kami kumpulkan semua tenaga untuk menjinjing beg-beg yang kami bawa.. isk..isk..isk....

kami pun, mengumpulkan tenaga bersama2 beg2 kami mendaki kembali tangga rumah zul untuk masuk ke bilik.. hohoho... kami tak jadi balik... hehehe.. kami akhirnya stay lagi satu malam... kami terus masuk ke blk, dan mmbuat some post mortem dan planning.. tp post mortem lagi panjang la kot.. tp bukan post mortem sangat pon.. lebeh kepada tazkirah dan pembetulan dan membetulkan apa2 yg tak patut kan.. huhu...

so, dah keputusannye stay (keputusan ni pon mak tuan rumah yg buat.. bkn kami... huhu...), where to go? kami pon berpk2 la nak pegi mane.. hmm.. ssh jugak.. zul pun tak membantu sangat dalam menentukan kemana seterusnya harus kami tuju.. huhu... akhirnya, farid meng'google' tanjung piai, sbb mena dari first sampai ckp nk pegi tnjg piai.. tapi setiap kali mena sebut tjg piai, mesti farid gelak, zul pun gelak.. aku tak paham kenapa dorang mesti gelak.. bile di'google', rupanya tanjung piai adalah the tip of Asia continent.. tanak pegi ke?? ish.. tip of borneo pun aku dying nak pegi, inikan lagi tip of Asia beb!!!! gila ka kalo tak pegi... tp tu pon tak confirm lagi..

then aku kate, mari kite pegi main boling dulu, mereleasekan segala perasaan konflik yang tidak sepatutnya ada dalam hati masing2.. kami pun pegi apa name tempat tu, skudai square??? ntahla.. aku pon dah lupe, untuk bermain mainan biasa kami.. boling, daytona, tambah lagi satu, tembak2.. haha..

bermainla kami sepuas-puasnya..

then, aku driving, kami menuju ke tjg piai.. jaoh juge.. tapi okla.. kami lalu tempat2 menarik juge.. mena tido sedap gile kat belakang kan.. huhu... lentok baek punya.. sepanjang perjalanan kami jumpe muzium nenas, pastu jumpe muzium bugis (ni redzuan semangat, maklumla, bangsa sendiri.. huhu)... then, kami telepas simpang tjg piai, masuk ke kukup.. huhu.. tp, kami kembali ke tjg piai.. LAUT CANTEK GILE BEB!!!!!! rindu gile aku tengok laut kan.. huhu.. dahla angin laut yang best bertiup2.. waaaaaaa.... best2... damai dan tenang rasanya.. huhu... tiba2 semua masalah aku ilang kat sini kan... what i mean by masalah adalah masalah peribadi yg aku tak suke tuh.. huhu... tjg piai tjg piai.. huhu..

sampai juge kami (temasuk zul dan mena, walaupun org johor, tapi tak penah nak sampai situ kan...) ke puncak benua Asia... gila la.. huhu... cantek la tempat ni... pastu, dia pun ada 'batu bersurat' mcm di simpang mengayau di Sabah tu... tp lagi besar... hahaha... sebab die benua Asia kot.. hehehe..

then, sume kelaparan... huh.... maklumla, makan roti jek.. hahaha... so kami pon dibawa oleh orang pontian (tak lain tak bukan, farid) untuk ke pontian, singgah makan steamboat.,. itu pon sesat2.. die tau tempat die dilahirkan je.. hoho.. mengarut tol... sampai tepi laut tu, aku tak sure tempat tu ade name khas atau tidak, kami pon membelasah steamboat.. makan.. makan.. makan... bercanda ria.. dan sebagainya...

untuk maghrib, kami bersinggahan di jusco dkt2 ngan UTM tu... solat jap.. berjalan la kami untuk pulang ke JB semula.. kami singgah di restoran apa, kalau tak salah nm dia tu my friend ka?? janji ada fren2.. okla.. semua terkejut tengok cendol ais farid ada cempedak??? ke nangka??? antara 2 tula.. huhu... kami pon makan kenyang2... nyum2...

masa balik tu, ada isu lagi.. kali ni isu kentut.. haish... ni sume mena nye pasal.. hoho.. mena terjerat dalam jerat per'kentut' an.. dalam kereta aku pulak tu.. yg pasti, aku tak sure siapa yg kentut, tapi tetibe mena dengan konfiden dan penuh perasaannye mengatakan 'eh, ada bau ke???!!!'... astaga~! dahla dalam kereta tu ada 3 orang manusia yang takleh dengar orang salah cakap sket.. kesian mena menjadi mangsa kentut.. hahahaha... kentut pon boleh jadik isu.,. sudahnye, sampai skarang, dialog tu menjadi dialog faveret mereka.. hahaha.. kesian mena.. hehehehe...

kami pulang agak awal dari biasa, then kami pun berehat2.. walau apa pun, kadang2, ada jugak yang menimbulkan soalan 'kalau kite balik hari ni ape jadik eh"??'.. kite tak balik, so takyah la nak berkalau2 kan.. huhu...

kemudian, kami mencatat sejarah, apabila kami berjaya menjejakkan kaki ke tjg piai.. huhu..walaupun takde pape, tapi kami telah berada di penghujung benua asia.. hahahaha.. jgn jeles kepada sesiapa yg belom pegi.. hehehe...

tp kembara belum selesai lagi.. hah?? ada lagi ke??? hish.. ada... ape jadik seterusnya??? haaa... tunggu la part 6, atau part akhir untuk kisah aku jatuh cinta ngan JB.. nnt episod seterusnya, aku akan bagi sebab, kenapa aku kate aku jatuh cinta ngan JB.. mesti ada sebab kan... huhu... tunggu..

to be continued...