Chapter ## : Life ooo Life...

Right now, I'm lying on my bed, thinking of mostly everything about my life.. From I was a little girl until now.. The only thing that I can recall the most is about me breaking the rules just to get a taste of something that I never think of the consequences. Until I get a taste of my own 'tebiat', then as I grow older, I'll think mostly 2 or 3 steps ahead. I will always think of the consequences of my actions. I don't know, maybe God give me some good sense of feelings towards something. Sometimes, I am certainly, absolutely, and 100% sure with my thoughts, but sometimes, it's a blurry vision, which means, I have to try it to know for sure. Not saying that I have any special abilities or abilities to do premonitions or whatsoever, it's just feelings. People will say I'm very defensive, people will also say I'm very stubborn, or anything pertaining to it, but I could say no more. It's a feeling inside of me that keeps me moving everyday.

No songs for this posts because I have no songs in my head right now. So, if you feel a bit of silence, you can start your own media player or you can sing by yourself!~ ;p

I've mentioned in previous posts on how I love my job so much when it is full of adrenaline. But sadly, you wont be able to taste it everyday. Not everyday you'll have very ill and most likely to face death patient, right. So what will I do to keep myself moving everyday. I would be lying I tell you that I am always highly motivated when it comes to work. I admit, at times I feel very lazy to go out to work. It's not a patient-factor thingie, it something to do with the workload (again) and how you, as a nurse been poorly treated in our country. But because I've been into this field, and I chose to be one (which I thought I am destined to) and because I am trained that whatever I do, my 'niat' is because of Allah, and I am working for the patient's sake and thus, I am looking for something in return which is priceless to human being and only God is able to give me my prize...

So, sometimes, I withdrew blood from certain patients which has easy access. The other day, I took ABG or the arterial blood gases.. heee... I'm not so sure whether as a nurse in Malaysia, one is allowed to do so, but do I look like I care, right?? hee.. I've always wanted to try one. I've assisted few ABG by looking for the strongest pulse, and usually it work.. So this time, let me do one!~ Alhamdulillah, it worked!~ If ever I have the chance to do it again, then I'll definitely would try it again!~

I am still trying my very hard to manage the ward. It is so complicated sometimes with all the tickets, films, results, and everything which involve paper!~ seriously, I am not good with handling papers. Everything needs papers and management is like hell in this ward. Tendency of missing papers, films and forgetting to update this and that, especially patients appointments especially special imaging appointment is high!~ In ward management is one part of it, and upon discharge, they still have plans for those patients!~ and yes, you need to manage it as well. This is where the trickiest part comes.

If the plan is TCA n/c - then you need the opd letter to give to the patient and ask them to bring to the nearest clinic for the next follow up.

If the plan is TCA d/c - you need to set up date for this patient to come for DAYCARE follow up in our ward every Tuesday, depends on the date of appointment with certain things to review

If the plan is TCA MOPD / SOPD - then, you need to find out patient's problem, and find out the date for patients to go to clinic to see dr. I hate to do this because you need to despatch the opd card to the clinic, or whatever it is. This 2 places always gives troubles to us. What's the trouble??? Unspeakeable!~ HOh!~

Apart from the tca, drs will always wrote to review whatever they wanted to review, sometimes imaging, reporting, blood investigation, etc.. these documents are the ones that easily gone missing!~ I still cannot think on how I can help this ward to improve and become organized. As I said, I am not good with papers!~ These papers gives me real headache!~ If it is all computerized, I can easily sort it out, put it in designated folders and with that, I can easily find it back!~ Papers are only good for me in doing notes!~ That's all. How I wish to work in places that is not as complicated as this! Is this how a 'Hospital dengan Pakar' look like??? Nahh.. I dont think so right!~

Tomorrow will be my night shift, again. I've requested earlier cycle of night shift, because I've bought ticket to go back home after my night shift. And being granted. Thank you sister.

Life will not get easier everyday. It is full of ups and downs, and the only thing you can do is be strong!~

I am strong!~ Yeah!~

Chapter ## : Updating Myself

My entry this time is basically about glimpse of my life.. So the song would be a little bit sentimental.. Adapted from someone who really likes to listen to this song.. heee... \

* Click Play*



*Life*

my life has not change much lately. Going to work, going to bed, going around this small town.. just like that. I recently have rented a house outside with Linda.. Which makes my life a little bit different than usual.. No more hostel feelings.. but somehow, this house still in a big mess... i only manage to tidy up my room a little bit here and there because i seriously have no time to tidy up the whole house.
I've painted my room in lime green colour.. huhu.. fix my own wall fan... well.. just a simple job to do with the house.. not so hard for me.. i love hardcore!~ hoho!~ whatever...

Ramadan is here, and we are fasting again.. Alhamdulillah, the weather here is just nice.. rain in the afternoon, and sometimes it will be raining cats and dogs until the evening, which makes me not so tiring and not so dehydrated. I tend to get dehydrated easily lately. I'm not so sure why, but yeah, so far, I still can cope with it. The only problem is my lips become dry and chapped. And sometimes, it really hurts.. huhu..

Moving to my new house, means i can already cook anything I want. Yeah!~ I've cooked some dishes for buka puasa (or we called it as sungkai as well, obviously not in Peninsular) and I felt great eating those dishes.. The only thing is, it's just me, eating alone.. But itsok, one day, I will not be eating alone anymore.. But when that one day will be hoh???

*Work*

It's already been 7 months now after my official appointment as a nurse. Workload, hmm.. only God knows.. maybe because it's a government hospital, so this is what you need to be prepared of. Workload never decreases.. It will increase over time, and as medical breakthrough becomes more challenging everyday, so will the workload of a staff nurse. People might not realizing this, but everything will involve the staff nurses, whether you like it or not.

Some of them still thinks that we are just another person that people around you can just point and give out order. But it seriously doesn't work with me. I reason with everybody and I challenge myself to reason for every single thing that I thought need to be reason. For things that I already know that I have to do, or logically I need to do.. I'll try to do it.. Sometimes, it's not that I don't want to do something, or delay it, but seriously, I can work up to 8 hours without even having a 2 minutes break. One day, you can see my popliteal veins coming out from miles away when I'm wearing a mini skirt above my knees.

But what I really cannot understand is, why do this people who are sitting higher than everyone else just could not accept the fact that workload of a staff nurse nowadays are ridiculously impossible? You can't even mention about shortage of nurses.. like duh.. it's a global issue for heaven's sake.. Are you seriously does not even updating your worldwide nurses issues?????

Whatever it is, I am planning NOT to stay in this hospital for a long time... I have my plan already... but only God's willing, it will come true.. but I'm praying hard for it.. huhu..

*Love*
Nothing much to say.. In love with him every single day.. : )